So they are having a conference up at Haahvaaahd called “Blogging, Journalism & Credibility”, and from looking over what Buzzfuck has posted on it so far, there isn’t a blogger to be found among the people speaking. Don’t tell me Hindrocket, and for God’s sake, don’t point at Jarvis. Anybody who puts their face in front of a TV camera and starts shooting their mouth off about the blogosphere can kiss my fucking ass. They are not bloggers; they are crossover motherfuckers looking to score coin–or, like Jarvis, well-to-do media dicks playing with new tech on the company’s dime and time. I’m not alone in thinking these clowns are not bloggers.
For me, the whole point of this conference is ridiculous. The idea of it being “invitation only” proves out that it is just another example of the MSM/Academe chowderheads trying to get a grip on a tiger’s tail and tame the beast before it eats their asses whole, but they only want to talk to bloggers who’ve either been deemed “safe” or are already firmly nestled in the MSM firmament.
Look, let’s get something straight, “journalism” as something you need to go to some overpriced academy to become proficient in practicing, is an utter fucking myth. Show me the j-school degrees of guys like Pete Hamill, Jimmy Breslin or Mike Royko.
“Journalists” break down into three distinct groups: Reporters, Photographers and Columnists. (Anybody with “editor” in their title is someone who has memorized the publication’s stylebook–and the legal nuts and bolts of defamation, slander and libel laws–while working their way up the ladder to avoid doing legwork. Their only purpose is deciding where the reporters and photographers go and making sure the final results of all three subgroups follow the stylebook and won’t get the publication sued.)
The first two roles are simple in their execution: photographers aim their cameras and shoot; reporters tell the facts–The “Ws”: Who What When Where Why, and How–about whatever it is they are filing their report about. A reporter should never be allowed to use an adjective unless absolutely necessary; nouns and verbs, that’s all that is required. Anything else is dressing. Columnists have leeway in that they inject their personal interpretations and biases into whatever they are writing about, so they can expand their writing in a way that Joe Reporter is forbidden to do.
They all are expected to operate under one overriding rule: everything you put in the pages of your publication that you say is the facts in whatever matter you’re dealing with damn well better be true. That means the photographers can’t go mucking about in the darkroom or Photoshop; the reporters can’t write anything they cannot corroborate or verify unless it’s something they are quoting someone as having said (and have a record of the conversation if the source denies having said it). The columnists have to follow the reporter’s rules to a point; beyond that the First Amendment and defamation/slander/libel laws usually gives enough latitude that allows them to kick out some outrageous shit, if they are so inclined, because they are stating an opinion, not strictly dealing in fact.
It’s a pretty cool job, once you’ve decided you have the balls to take the blowback pointing that camera, asking those questions, or stating that opinion might bring back your way. If you’re good at it, and consistant, people will come back for more of whatever you’re offering. If you’re not, they’ll spit in your direction, walk away, and turn a blind eye to your byline. If you get something wrong, you admit it and correct the mistake. If you refuse to accept that you made a mistake, fuck you, you’re a schmuck, and people will throw rotten vegetables at you whenever you cross their path.
Mash all that shit together and it spells “blogger.” There are other variations of the term, but this particular variation is the one that has “journalists” scared shitless about their future incomes. Why else are those clowns talking about economics? Bloggers threaten their hegemony, which imperils their livelihood. Why read or listen to motherfuckers who can’t get simple-assed rules like those right? Which, because these “trained professionals” have taken to tossing those rules aside, and framing everything they pump out as being open to interpretation along their preferred political vectors (both left and right), is the reason “Credibility” is in the title of this circle jerk they are holding in Beantown.
The unstated mission of this conference is: “how can we co-opt blogging to save our hoary asses and keep the benjamins flowing?”
Just follow the fucking rules, dipshits.
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