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Hipster Tries Defending Springsteen, Fails Miserably

I spied this headline over at Hipster Douchebag Central:

Millennials hate Bruce Springsteen

An entire generation has dismissed The Boss’ music as lame “dad rock.” Here’s why they’re all wrong

… and checked the author’s bio before I ever read a word. “Hmm. She’s 24 and thinks she knows the Jersey Shore before the MTV whores…. It’s probably time for an HDC beatdown.”

After opening with a “conversation” that was so ridiculously fake I should have just stopped reading and gone about my day, I decided to see how the silly young thing was going to make her case defending the other, lesser “Boss.” First she and her pals complained about the age of his audience (which tells me she likely hasn’t actually attended an E Street show in a decade or so)….

And then I reached these ‘graphs:

Even in the classic rock canon at large, Springsteen is something of an idiosyncracy: He’s not as grizzled as Dylan or as jaded as Neil Young (although he is at least recently more prolific — and arguably consistently better — than both), nor does he have the swagger of a Robert Plant, or the dead sexiness (or sexy deadness) of a Kurt Cobain. My friend Ezra, a longtime Bruce hater, sums Bruce’s role in the rock god pantheon thusly: “MJ makes you want to dance, Dylan makes you want to smoke, Zeppelin makes you want to be an excitable teenager. I don’t know where Bruce would fit in my life, besides not liking his music.”

Now, I am not going to deconstruct the above anti-Bruce arguments, because people are entitled to their opinions (even when they are, in this case, egregiously, desperately wrong). I’m not going to proffer an in-depth sociological explanation for this sweeping wave of Bruce hatred, because I think “a widespread generational embrace of postmodern irony accompanied by a universal rejection of all that is honest and genuine and joyous and sincere” pretty much says it all. And I’m not going to say that having to defend my favorite musician, over and over and over again, with people who know Bruce only as that guy who wrote a pro-Reagan song in the ’80s and once smushed his testicles into a cameraman during the Super Bowl halftime show, makes me angry, because it doesn’t.

It just makes me sad. Profoundly, unspeakably sad.

Born in the USA had nothing to do with Reagan, Toots. If you were truly a fan, you would know that these words:

Born down in a dead man’s town
The first kick I took was when I hit the ground
You end up like a dog that’s been beat too much
Till you spend half your life just covering up
Born in the U.S.A.

… ain’t got nothing to do with “Morning in America.” You claim Springsteen as your “favorite musician,” yet you know jack diddly shit about one of his biggest hits….

You are a hipster douchebag bint. Sic Temper STFU 



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