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MBM Squirrel of the Day: “The Stench”

Here’s today’s Make Believe Media (MBM) feeding frenzy, created seemingly from whole cloth, by Politico’s Chief Political Columnist Whore, Roger Simon:

“I hate to say this, but if Ryan wants to run for national office again, he’ll probably have to wash the stench of Mitt Romney off of him,” Craig Robinson, former political director of the Republican Party of Iowa, told The New York Times on Sunday.

That was actually the last line–‘the kicker’, if you will–in the referenced (but, curiously, not linked) NY Times’ article. Here it is, in its original context [all emphasis mine]:

If the Republican ticket loses in November, the rush by Mr. Ryan and other 2016 hopefuls to position themselves for the Iowa caucuses “is going to look like Best Buy after Thankgiving,” said Craig Robinson, a former political director of the Republican Party of Iowa. “I hate to say this, but if Ryan wants to run for national office again, he’ll probably have to wash the stench of Romney off of him.”

Kinda changes things, don’t you think? Simon dives deeper:

Coming from a resident of Iowa, a state where people are polite even to soybeans, this was a powerful condemnation of the Republican nominee.

This is something this Staten Island resident calls “hacktastic bullshit.” Craig Robinson was not offering a “powerful condemnation of the Republican nominee.” He was gaming out what Ryan’s chances in 2016 would be if Romney/Ryan lost in 2012. He was saying that, in his opinion, Ryan would have a tough time in the 2016 Iowa caucuses if he entered as a member of the previously losing GOP ticket, which is news to exactly no one.

That’s it; he wasn’t say jack about present-day Mitt.

But Simon wasn’t through:

Though Ryan had already decided to distance himself from the floundering Romney campaign, he now feels totally uninhibited. Reportedly, he has been marching around his campaign bus, saying things like, “If Stench calls, take a message” and “Tell Stench I’m having finger sandwiches with Peggy Noonan and will text him later.”

Simon claims Ryan has been pulling this “Stench” shtick on the bus since… when? Craig Robinson’s use of the word entered the mix on Monday; Simon filed his screed (very) early the next morning. Ergo, Simon is intimating Ryan had been using this Mitt diss before the Old Gray Lady’s story dropped….

Right?

“Marching around” cannot possibly mean–if it happened at all–that he only started using it on Monday, unless we are to believe reporters on the Ryan campaign bus had heard the VP candidate slagging his running mate in such a way before Robinson’s quote was published, and yet they all sat on it. That’s just too ludicrous a scenario for anyone following the campaign coverage to believe to be true.

Simon’s “reported” claim seems a complete fabrication; an utter lie.

No matter how I phrase the search, Google returns nothing that shows this to have been “reported” anywhere, except in Roger Simon’s addled imagination (and among the clueless jackholes who accept Simon’s too-shiny snippet at face value). Unless he (or anybody) produces a recording of Ryan speaking those words, I imagine Roger Simon and Politico are wide open for a whale of a lawsuit by putting those words in Ryan’s mouth.

But none of this matters, because the latest MBM squirrel has been loosed. Currently, it’s  one of the top entries at Memeorandum, with the usual suspects beginning to join what I imagine, as the day progresses (I’m typing this at 10:40AM), will be a fairly-sized dogpile.

So far (it’s early, so there will likely be other, better candidates) the “You’re supposed to be smarter than this” award goes to “The [Not at All] Moderate Voice” Editor-in Chief, Joe Gandelman:

 Are we now witnessing the second Vice President on a Republican ticket in four years “go rogue”? Is Paul Ryan fed up with what some see as his Romneyization by the Romney camp? Is he following 2008 Vice Presidential nominee’s advice to “go rogue”? Or both? Yes, expect Camp Romney and Camp Ryan to try and paper over this report. But the Politico’s Roger Simon is a trustworthy, experienced reporter.

Roger Simon did not “report” a goddamned thing, Gandelman, and you damn well bloody know it. The closest thing to “reporting” are the alleged Ryan “quotes,” and they don’t pass the smell test (Really, “finger sandwiches with Peggy Noonan” coming out of this guy’s mouth?). Simon is a known and identified political hack, and he’s been one for years.

Either you are a shit-poor editor, or you are an asshole… though, based on the first paragraph in this piece over at your shop (Fucking “tense”; how does that work?), the two are obviously not mutually exclusive.

You are wishcasting, Gandelman. Your team cannot defend the Unicorn King, so this kind of crap is all you’re left with; throw every ludicrous, easily knocked-aside bullshit you can find that attacks the Romney/Ryan ticket into the air, and pray something–anything–sticks to the wall… at least for a day.

That’s how losers play. And, more and more, I believe the MBM realize their Chosen One is toast, and they’ll do anything to try dragging his hide across the finish line.

UPDATE: After the shit hit the fan (see Gandelman’s “Note to Readers” Update to his original entry), Roger Simon added the following postscript:

[Author’s note: Jonathan Swift did not really want Irish people to sell their children for food in 1791; George Orwell did not really want the clocks to strike thirteen in 1984; Paul Ryan, I am sure, calls Mitt Romney something more dignified than “Stench” and Microsoft did not invent PowerPoint as a means to euthanize cattle. At least I am pretty sure Microsoft didn’t.]

Umm, no. No, you two-bit asshole. You don’t get to try hiding behind the “satire” mantle AFTER your snark-fueled bullshit had been put to the fire and left a smoldering ruin. Gandelman might be stupid enough to buy that craptastic excuse that you added to the piece, but you’ll gain no sale from me, since your own bloody website says “Updated: 9/26/12 1:09 PM EDT”….

You thought you’d get away with it, you pissant propagandist.

UPDATE II: now I’m just havin’ fun….

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