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And the “Screaming Douchebag” Award goes to…

(all emphasis mine)

Burke Jensen moved to Kennewick about a year ago, bought a nice house in the country south of the city and began to settle into a new job at Energy Northwest.

Then came the call five months ago to serve his country in Kuwait.

So Jensen, who says he is an involuntarily mobilized reservist, headed off, leaving behind a pregnant wife, a young son and a 2.5-acre lot with not a spot of landscaping.

Now, Lt. Jensen is being told to get an irrigation system and landscaping on his property as soon as possible or face legal action from the Oak Hill Country Estates Homeowners’ Association.

“I really don’t give a [expletive] where he is or what his problem is,” said Chick Edwards, owner and developer of the 47-lot subdivision at the south end of Oak Street in Kennewick.

“It doesn’t matter to me,” said Edwards, who insists Jensen has violated terms of the homeowners-association covenants requiring that landscaping be completed within one year after an occupancy permit is issued for a home.

“[Jensen] doesn’t have the right to walk away from his obligation,” said Edwards, who as the developer is the only member of the homeowners association. “I have most of the property still, so I am the homeowners association,” he said.

Kennewick reservist faces threats over landscaping | Seattle Times Newspaper

As the article notes, this prick Chick is the only member of the homeowners’ association, and Chick the Prick has yet to sell most of the properties. The fact that Jensen is serving overseas; had contracted to get the necessary work done–only to get screwed (surprise!) by the contractor–means jack diddly to this self-important scumbag:

“This is a contract. I don’t like the way his property looks. This clown gets to do what he wants, and I’m as mad as hell,” he said.

Chick the Prick has to be the stupidest developer in the country. By acting like this subdivision is his own little feudal estate, where he is king and the rules are his to decree (why is HE the only member of the HOA? How can Jensen be held to the HOA’s “covenants” if he isn’t considered a member?). Regardless of Jensen’s extenuating circumstances, how the hell does he think pulling something like this, generating this kind of piss-poor publicity, is going to do him any damn good selling the remaining properties he’s still holding?

What person in their right mind would by a house from this asshat?

How goddamn stupid do you have to be to do this to a soldier serving overseas?

The cliche is “any publicity is good publicity.”

Well, Chick the Prick is gonna learn that canard is a load of crap.

addendum: Something just occurred to me: If these rules Chick the Prick cites kick in one year after a “occupancy permit” is issued, and Chick the Prick owns all those unsold units, does that mean HE has done all the work demanded on HIS properties? Or is the occupancy permit only issued when someone else purchases the property? Chick the Prick has already gone nuclear on Mr. Jensen; do all of the lots owned by Chick the Prick meet the legal occupancy requirements?

I don’t know the law in that drabby corner of the NorthWest US, but here in NY, you can’t sell a unit unless it has been issued an “occupancy certificate.”

How many of the lots in possession of Chick the Prick are in compliance with his HOA’s “covenants” about property upkeep at this time?

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