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Archive for "Jul 28 2008"

Well Now, This Was an Idiotic Waste of Time

Screen door slams,
Mary’s dress waves

BBBRRRRIIINNGGG

ME: “yo.” (that’s the way I answer every phone call. Wife; Mom, whomever. I either say “Yo” or I say “What?” NancyBoy etiquette doesn’t register on my thought process.
PHONE: “I”m calling for TC Lynch.”
ME: “So talk.”
PHONE: “May I speak to Mrs. Lynch?”
ME: “OH, you wanna talk to her. Hang on a second, I’ll get her…”

TC takes deep breath, goes in Monty Python mode.

ME: “HELLOOOOOO! Hubby says you want to interview me.”

PHONE: “Mrs. Lynch, may we ask a few questions?”
ME: “Yes, of course.”
PHONE: We are doing a survey and would like to ask you a few questions.”
ME: “Oh, certainly. Go right ahead. You’ve said there would be questions but you have not actually asked one.”
PHONE: “in the Presidential election, would you–”
ME (lisping it to the nines): “I want to have Obama’s baby!”

PHONE: “WHAT!?

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