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Archive for "Jul 24 2008"

The Horror, the Horror… [Updated]

It’s astounding, time is fleeting
Madness takes its toll
But listen closely, not for very much longer
I’ve got to keep control

Dr. Frank-N-Furter (Tim Curry) self proclaimed...Image via WikipediaMTV readies ‘Rocky Horror’ redux – Variety

MTV is doing the time warp on a remake of 1975 cult classic “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.”

Lou Adler, exec producer of the original film, is partnering with BermanBraun and Fox Television Studios on the new rendition.

Two-hour remake will use the original screenplay by Jim Sharman and Richard O’Brien but may also include music not featured in the original.

This takes the “Hollywood is out of ideas” meme into Bizarro World. This idea is “FAIL!” writ large for many reasons.

FIRST: “Rocky Horror” is still playing midnight shows, and still drawing audiences of both the hard core, multi-viewing addicts (I’ve seen it at least twenty times) who come armed with props and their own par-tici…“SAY IT!”–pation lines memorized, and newbies (aka: “virgins”), who want to find out what all the fuss is about. The original was released in 1975, and is still in theaters; where is the need to re-do something that has been continually screening for that long, with no end in sight?

SECOND: How the bloody hell can they “include music not in the original”? Where are the holes in the original where they can shoehorn in additional music?

THIRD: How do they top the original cast? What actors in their right minds would take on the task of replacing O’Brien’s “Riff Raff,” Susan Sarandon’s “Janet,” etc.? What idiot would dare try topping Meatloaf’s show-stopping performance of “Hot Patootie, Bless My Soul” as the doomed biker “Eddie.”

And sorry, there ain’t any actor out there who can out-sexy the performance of Sweet Transvestite Tim Curry.

FOURTH: MTV? What the hell do they know about music anymore? And what film project with their name attached to it didn’t end up being a fistful of SUCK?

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