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It’s a Great Way to Wake Up

Jamie Dimon is a diabolical genius.

Two bucks a share?

Really; he just gobbled up a company for less than the real estate said company calls home is worth. And if the deal goes south, the Fed will bail him out.

That’s just too utterly friggin’ funny to put in words.

Wife™ recently worked at Bear, and I kept telling her, “Get your ass out of that place as fast as you can,” when she’d bitch about it being a glorified frathouse.

Wife™: “but I have my own office; I’m not sitting in a cubicle.”

ME: “Your were hired to run a department, right?”
Wife™: “Yes.”
ME: “And they ain’t letting you run it; they gave control to one of the fratboys.”
Wife™: “Yes.”

ME: “Ace ain’t running the joint anymore, it’s a bunch of MBA assholes who will kick you to the fucking curb the minute all these shit-riding ‘derivative’ pieces of useless paper bullshit blow up in their goddamned faces.”

I ripped that rant roughly a year ago. She called around and got a new gig at a previous employer, who were so into rehiring her that they vested her time working there as an employee and as a consultant, which meant she only had to do six months and she could retire with a full benny package.

And she came home one day after her return, especially giddy: “I talked to one of the guys on the trading desk, and he was asking me about my name changing (she worked there before we’d been married). When I told him about you, he said, “I remember that guy. You married that nutjob?”
ME: “Who is this idiot?”
Wife™: “Calm down. I told him to STFU or I’d bring you to the office to meet me for lunch.”
ME: “That would be a stabbin’ extravaganza.”

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