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REMEMBER, KIDS, Russ Smith (aka: Mugger) lives somewhere down around Baltimore, and loves the The Feckless Fenway Fuckwits. He has every reason, and here, opportunity, to pile on and join the “you’re gonna wish you’re Pete Rose by the time we are through with you” brigade of baseball hacks. But he has, what we in the biz like to call it, “a working brain.”
So Mugger don’t roll like that idiot ‘Lip,’ or Mike and the Mad Dog shit.

Why Congress has devoted even a minute to the use of PEDs among baseball players in the past decade and a half is a bipartisan disgrace, as was retrieving former Sen. George Mitchell from mothballs to head a committee charged with poring over medical records, dirty syringes, gossip and conflicting testimony all for the purpose of “cleaning” up the game. Clemens, never one to shy from creating a narcissistic spectacle, is guilty of ginning up the ruckus (as if any sports fans really needed to know that his former trainer allegedly injected chemicals into his butt). But even if the charges are justified, should the legendary pitcher—or Barry Bonds or Miguel Tejada—do time for a victimless crime? It could be he’s forfeited his once-automatic entrance into the Hall of Fame—and if so, big deal—yet the notion he needs to be incarcerated for perjuring himself before a congressional hearing that should’ve never even taken place, is just dumb.

The Times’ Murray Chass is without question New York’s worst sportswriter, and he’s predictably dogged Bonds and Clemens on the steroids/HGH farce, but The Daily News’ Mike Lupica owns this story. I’ve always liked Lupica’s take on sports—even if his mixing anti-GOP barbs into an article about spring training is irritating—but his relentless attack on Clemens and other “cheaters” has, at least to this reader, soiled his reputation just as badly as the athletes he judges. There was a great comment on The News’ website last week after another Lupica holier-than-thou diatribe, from someone with the handle of “pag.” “Who is [Lupica] anyway? The King of Siam? He thinks he’s the head of the Thought Police. No one is allowed to disagree with him [referring to the fact that unlike many News sports articles, Lupica’s columns have no option for reader comments].”

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