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I Love Staten Island, But…

Wife™ once asked me about me muttering, “five hunnert; another five hunnert,” and so on when we’d go to a place like Walgreen’s, or some similar ‘Stop-n-Go’ shopping place, and work our way through the parking lot. It was like Candytown, the number of cars just sitting there, waiting….

Seriously, the level of dumbass out here is unbelievable; if the traffic wasn’t so congested, making getaways harder to pull off, these boosts would be epic in their numbers:
Gothamist: Staten Island Car Owners Are an Easy Target

Out of the 76 cars reported stolen for 2008, the NYPD says 24 of them had the keys in the ignition. And then another 10 vehicles were stolen because the keys were, per the Advance, in the “glovebox, on the ground of a parking lot or discovered inside a jacket left behind at a restaurant.” Lieutenant John Peruffo said car thieves “are always around waiting for you to do it, to leave the keys in the car.”

Here are some of the explanations the police get from vehicle owners: “I was just taking in groceries,” “I was just warming up the car while I went back in the house to grab a coffee,” and “I just ran into the deli for a bagel and cigarettes.” Nice!

The keys left in the ignition excuse is bad enough, but “inside a jacket left behind at a restaurant”? Where the hell did these people go? Out for a smoke between courses? I’d imagine (hell, have experienced) waltzing out of a place while leaving my coat behind, but when I got to the car I usually figured out where I’d made a mistake in my cunning escape plan.

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