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Archive for "Sep 27 2007"

He’s Still Darth Boss George

Joe Torre dines with George Steinbrenner:

Torre said Steinbrenner was in good shape and encouraged by the Yankees’ second-half surge, although the Boss was not pleased that his club failed to clinch a playoff berth on Tuesday night against the Devil Rays. ‘I said, ‘How are you doing?’ and he said, ‘Not so good,” Torre said.

‘That’s when I knew he was fine.

Don’t let the Old Man down!

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It’s Like Every Nerd in the World Bought a Hooker at the Same Time

Did Anyone Else Watch This “Debate”?

I’m watching the replay, and I gotta say: These people are all nuts… not just Gravel and Kuchi, I’m talking the whole lot of them. They are so stuck on talking points that it seems the questions just dissolve into the ether as the sound bites drift from their lips.

Question: “Just who the fuck do you think you are to decide Iraq should be divvied up, as addressed in Biden’s plan?”

Who blessed you tools with imperial rule? Do you dumb shits even begin to think how this will play on the international stage when you decree this kind of crap?

Beer Me, quickly.

As a group, when asked about “what would you do about ‘Sanctuary Cities’ that thumb their noses at Federal law,” to a one, they said “Nothing.”

Obama looks like a lightweight; God save me for saying this, but Joe Biden was the closest thing to sane.

Beer.

Her highness, Hillary? She knows she’s already won this thing if she doesn’t screw it up and acted accordingly… though she really, really needs to not try talking economics. Her hubby made his bones on the most asinine bubble the US economy have ever seen; don’t try bragging on it.

Gravel? He makes Ron Paul look sage in comparison. “Yeah, I went bankrupt, but I fucked a credit company while doing it!”

Double Shot Black Bush and three freakin’ Beers.

Richardson? “Yo, cholo? We don’t speak de espaniol. You do. You savvy, cochise? Why in the name of anything holy did you agree to NOT speak Spanish during the Univision version of this damn circle jerk? You have the best resume, yet you look like a blithering idiot every time I watch your lips move.”

And don’t even start me on the Lollypop Kid from Cleveland or Silky Pony; they are just flat out idiots. Silky’s the worst; his Social Security blarney is just fucking nuts. Kuchi at least, in his fever dreams, is honest. He wants to tax the shit out of everyone, then melt all the guns and explode them into space.

Dodd is having a drunken flashback and citing Tip O’Neill…. BEERBEERBEERBEER.

Who elected any of these people? Oh, yeah, my fellow Americans.

Christ Almighty, we are screwed.

“Hello, Mr. Smirnov.”

RED MEAT: NATIONAL SMOKING BAN!

“So, would you be willing to supercede states’ rights?”
Hillary: “Not yet.”
Obama: “if the state’s won’t play ball.”
Gravel: “I’m in!”
Biden: “Me too!”
Kuchi, Richardson: “Don’t leave us out!”

“As President, Mr. Richardson, you would be the honorary President of the Boy Scouts of America…. Would you accept that position?”

“No… GITMO!”

Sweet baby Jeebus, I need to finish this freakin’ fifth….

Now Gravel is jabbering about windmills… Hillary hates Yuca Mountain… Russert seems to be totally bored and throws a “will you torture people if Jack Bauer says “there’s no time!” and has some sandmonkey strapped on a table who has relevent information about a nuclear bomb….

PERSONAL INFO: I caught a guy (well, the dogs caught him after he made such a racket that the whole house woke up) trying to break into my shed with an accomplice. I came storming out of the house screaming “back off!”; jumped on his chest, and recognized him from the neighborhood.

“You tell me who the other guy was or I let the fucking dogs tear you up.”

He ratted. I then let the dogs bite the shit out of the bitch, and I tracked down the other kid. That was three years ago. Nobody comes near my crib anymore.

THAT is National Defense. Tell Geneva to blow it out their ass. Fuck with me? I fuck back harder.

These weasels all said “No,” or ducked.

Schmucks.

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