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Archive for "Jul 16 2007"

Hey Lady? You Flunked ‘Mom 101,’ So STFU


Staten Island mom Deanna Hassell wasn’t shocked when her son flunked the seventh grade. What shocked her was his promotion to the eighth grade.

“Are you kidding me? Is the Board of Education kidding? How does a kid with a 60.53 average pass?” she asked.

“He should be held back! If children are not getting the education they need now, when they get to high school, they are going to drop out.”

Toots, you allowed your kid to tell you to piss up a rope for the entire school year, allowing him to skip school for more than twenty-five percent of the term, and then he turned around and passed the tests. Now, because he totally p3wned your ass by passing those tests, proving (it seems) he’s the only member of your household in possession of a frickin’ clue, you want the Board of Ed to hold the kid back so that you can say to your kid, “See? I told you so”?

He’s got one name; you got another. So where the fuck is his father? Was there no responsible adult in the general vicinity that could have slapped the little bastard in the mouth and straightened his ass out?

Behold! The Power of Boobies

“Suddenly he stopped the bus,” the woman named Debora C. told Bild newspaper. “He opened the door and shouted at me ‘Your cleavage is distracting me every time I look into my mirror and I can’t concentrate on the traffic. If you don’t sit somewhere else, I’m going to have to throw you off the bus.'”

“Too sexy for my bus,” woman told

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