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Archive for "Feb 07 2007"

Albany Hack to Introduce Anti-Darwinian Legislation

Yes, these people can be annoying, but that’s why God invented voice boxes, so you can bark them back into reality; also elbows and forearms, to make it easy to shove their dumb asses aside if they’ve got the volume jacked too high to hear anything going on outside their personal universe. But this yahoo is taking the Nanny State BS to a stupendously asinine height:

Bill Banning iPods In Crosswalks Slated For Albany

Legislation will be introduced in Albany on Wednesday to lay a $100 fine on pedestrians succumbing to what State Sen. Carl Kruger calls iPod oblivion.

“We’re talking about people walking sort of tuned in and in the process of being tuned in, tuned out,” Kruger said. “Tuned out to the world around them. They’re walking into speeding cars. They’re walking into buses. They’re walking into one another and it’s creating a number of fatalities that have been documented right here in the city.”

There are so many things wrong with that statement it is almost laughable. First, show me one friggin’ example of two people bumping into each other that resulted in a fatality. Similarly, it wasn’t “walking into” a car or bus that created those fatalities, it was the vehicles smashing into the oblivious gits while the driver was most likely running a red light!

Because any idiot, whether zoned out by an iPod, Blackberry or just bloody dumb-from-the-neck-up who crosses against a light in any city, without bothering to look and see if there are any vehicles heading their way, DESERVES to get removed from the gene pool.

Also, if this loopy legislation somehow actually passes, what are we gonna do about deaf people caught up in their thoughts? I mean, they can’t hear shit to begin with, so do we lock them in their rooms “for their own protection,” since that would be just as dangerous as being zoned out in your own audio universe while walking the city’s streets, right?

Riddle me that, you Albany Asshole.

UPDATE: Oh, my! John Gambling is interviewing this maroon on the radio right now, and when Gambling noted that he wears an iPod while commuting, but is cognizant enough to look both ways before attempting to cross a road–since he can’t hear anything over the music–the guy replied (paraphrased) “Most people aren’t that conscious of their environment.”

translation: “YOU’RE IDIOTS AND I NEED TO PROTECT YOU FOOLS.”

So I guess I’m right; those fuckers need culling from the herd.

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