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Archive for "Feb 05 2007"

Another Bullet in the Old Gray Lady’s Ass

This just might be the most dumbassed shit I’ll read all week–and the sun hasn’t yet risen this Monday morn–describing His Purpleness’s absolutely “kickass and take names” Super Bowl Halftime performance:

His performance last night at Super Bowl XLI will surely go down as one of the most thrilling halftime shows ever; certainly the most unpredictable, and perhaps the best. “Dearly beloved,” he whispered, intoning the famous first words of “Let’s Go Crazy.”

What followed was a dizzying demonstration. He navigated a smooth course through a jumbled-up set built from bits and pieces, hits and covers. “Let’s Go Crazy” ended with an ad-libbed call-and-response, after which Prince was joined by a marching band.

So far, so good, though calling the set “jumbled up” is fairly retarded, and thinking for a second he wasn’t gonna open with “Let’s Go Crazy” is amazingly obtuse when considering Prince’s songbook.

Now then, let’s watch an asshole reporter/reviewer ride a train directly off the rails…

Soon came “Proud Mary” by Creedence Clearwater Revival. That gave way to a piece of Bob Dylan’s “All Along the Watchtower,” which melted into “Best of You,” the 2005 hit by the Foo Fighters.

(TC puts whistle to his lips, exhales violently, points accusing finger, looks for a baseball bat in lieu of readily available gun)

NO, NO, NO! TEN MINUTE MAJOR, YOU MORONIC ASSHOLE!

It was Ike and Tina’s “Proud Mary,” and it was the Jimi Hendrix version of “Watchtower.”

Were you even listening to the guitar breaks played during either tune?

UPDATE: I spoke too soon. THIS is an even bigger piece of dumbass, culled from the same location, which takes flight to reach new heights of anti-war, Bush Derangement Syndrome obsession/projection:

No commercial that appeared last night during Super Bowl XLI directly addressed Iraq, unlike a patriotic spot for Budweiser beer that ran during the game two years ago. But the ongoing war seemed to linger just below the surface of many of this year’s commercials.

More than a dozen spots celebrated violence in an exaggerated, cartoonlike vein that was intended to be humorous, but often came across as cruel or callous.

Holey Frickin’ Moley! Does this mean the mouse in Blockbuster’s commercial was really a representation of the Iraqi people being manipulated by the evilly idiotic BushHitlerBurton, and the idea of “plugging in” the little bastard’s tail was actually a subtle “Abu Ghraib” reference?

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