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Pele Light: “Becks” Won’t Save Anything

SOCCER SAVIOR By BRIAN LEWIS – New York Post Online Edition: Seven

Sometimes a budding league and an iconic star meet at just the right time, like Joe Namath all but forcing the NFL-AFL merger or Pele legitimizing the North American Soccer League. Yesterday was that day for Major League Soccer, the day David Beckham’s signing put the league on the U.S. sporting scene and the world soccer stage.

Pele was the greatest player of his day; Beckham? not even close, even in his prime. Great positional kicker; useless on defense… basically, a DH. Doesn’t even start for the Real Madrid team he’ll be leaving. But he’s perfect for Hollywood, where image is everything, as opposed to where, in the case of Broadway Joe, you had to put it on stage, and then deliver. Ticket sales may go up, but that team won’t go nowhere. Shit, can you point to that championship that Beckie’s led his team to win? His “three homers on three swings” Reggie moment? No. He couldn’t even get named to the English national team in his current condition.

If the MLS poobas think he’s gonna return the investment, they are idiots. There is a reason all those knee-biters play soccer in the US, and then abandon it when they get to a certain age.

It’s PussyBall. Parents don’t want their little darlings getting smacked around like the regular mayhem in football or hockey, and are afraid they’ll get skulled standing at the plate in a baseball game. So soccer is considered “safe.”

Well, they’re right; It’s hockey without the intensity; a sport where a twisted ankle is usually the only threat the knee-biters have to face. But name the best-known American soccer player and it’s a girl who ripped off her shirt. When those baby boys get to high school they switch to hockey, football, baseball or basketball. They don’t stick with “girly aerobic shit.”

Beckham, like Gretzky, decided to move to LA because the money was there and his wife could chase her movie star delusion. It’s worth noting his agent is the guy behind “American Idol.”

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