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EVERYBODY PANIC!

Gas Smelled Over Large Area Of Manhattan

C’mon, people, get a grip. This story is getting blasted all over the local radio and television news channels, and I’m sitting here in my home office, looking out the window and seeing the Bayonne Bridge, thinking “so, the wind’s blowing in from Elizabeth a little stronger and more northernly than usual, eh?”

The funniest part of this is people who are worried it’s some kind of terrorist attack, so they flee their office buildings. Folks, if it was an attack, you’d be dead by now…. And where the hell are you gonna go, anyway?

My guess is the Giants landed at LaGuardia, the Jets at JFK, and their combined suckage wafted over Manhattan like some great cloud of crappiness when the planes opened their doors and disgorged their passengers.

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