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Archive for "Oct 03 2006"

Okay, Let’s Wait a Goddamn Minute

The latest from “Kitten Killer” Ross:

Former Congressman Mark Foley (R-FL) interrupted a vote on the floor of the House in 2003 to engage in Internet sex with a high school student who had served as a congressional page, according to new Internet instant messages provided to ABC News by former pages.

Who, and for what possible purpose (other than future political extortion or personal fapping potential), saves all these IM sessions?

No Excuses; NO PRISONERS!

With Detroit’s pitchers having to deal with this lefty/righty nightmare
of an All Star batting order:
Damon
Jeter
Abreu
Sheffield
RhoidBoy
A-Hole
Matsui
Posada
Cano

My goddamned dog should be able to go out on the mound as a third starter and be expected to win. Anything other than total annhiliation of the Tigers, followed by the bludgeoning of any other crew–especially the team from Queens–that stands in the way of another Broadway parade will be considered unacceptable.

If you bastards fuck this up it will cause every bit of Yankee ephemera in my possession (not bearing the name, number or likeness of Thurman Munson, Mickey Mantle, Donnie Baseball and Paul O’Neill) to be tossed in my backyard pit and put to the flame.

You hear me? Lately I’ve only burned the flag I’ve flown from Opening Day until you were eliminated; this year, I’ll torch the whole damn collection, from tee shirts to caps to souvenir bats.

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