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Pavano is SO Never Wearing Pinstripes Again

It’s not the crime, it’s the coverup that screws you up:

Dumbass runs deep in this one

Yankee pitcher Carl Pavano had a secret passenger during his secret car crash in Florida: a sexy model from Queens, the Daily News has learned.

A friend of Pavano’s whisked away gorgeous Gia Allemand following the Aug. 15 smashup, which the oft-injured hurler didn’t tell his ballclub about for 11 days.

Bad enough that the stupid, useless bastard kept the Yankees in the dark about the crash occurring–that was enough to get his ass thrown under the bus–but his first thought was to call a buddy to whisk his hottie from Howard Beach away? To the point of keeping her name out of the police report, and the press conference after he finally ‘fessed up?

Jeez, Pavasshole, I can hear your contract being torn into tiny pieces as I’m typing this…. You were more concerned with protecting your latest piece of ass than coming clean with the team paying you ten million a year?

Dude, you so crossed a stupidity threshold Steinbrenner will not stand for.

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