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Archive for "Jul 02 2006"

Ah, Shit. You’re my Cousin by Marriage, Aren’t You? So I Can’t Punch Your Ass into the gutter and only worry about Sheila giving me shit for kicking your ass, right?”

ME: “You realize I could goddamn care if you fell in a black hole?”
CUZ: “I heard you are very angry about the way the family–”
ME: “–The what?”
CUZ: “The family.”
ME: “Whaddayou Jersey assholes consider to be my family? I got nieces and nephews, cousins other than your skinny dumbass, and a sister and a mother living out there in the Garden State. Not a single one of you pricks ever crossed a bridge to visit me and mine and Staten Isle. Who you talking about when you say family?” It sure ain’t you in my book, asswipe. You’re the kind of guy I handle with a knife.”

“You talk tough.”

“I beat your brother up. Your pussy six foot two hero threw a punch in his own backyard and I grabbed his hand and broke it, and then I kicked the shit out of his ribs before you pussy bastards ganged up and pulled me off. I’m a moron, all five foot nine and nothing, but I can destroy your whole fucking family’s guy side, including the queers running the Catholic school track teams, because you’re a bunch of altar boy boys. You may as well be girls. It’s the only reason you’re even talking to me, skippy. I consider you girls so I don’t just hit you with a hammer. I frighten the holyfuck of of you shits. You look at me and say “what can we do with this” because you ain’t got the balls to just kick my ass and be done with it.”

“That’s not true.”

“My fucking puppy freaks you chickenshit bastards.”

“That’s not true.”

“YO, Bootz! Bite this fucker’s ass.”

sammich.jpg
Sammich Time! Gimme a Bite!

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More Action Like This Could Get Me Interested in this Soccer Shit

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It’s Not News…

It’s FARK:

Chrysler bringing back Dodge Challenger. It will still be an overpowered, underengineered behemoth that corners like a shopping cart, but some people will buy it.

Your dog wants an EL CAMINO!

I want my bitchin’ (not the last, girlyshit model) Camaro back, NOW!

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