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Archive for "May 01 2006"

You Dumb Fucking Idiots

So while I’m STILL (not going home till the sun does the same) walking the dog…
I decided to take a survey of my–overun with illegals–neighborhood. So I come to this little storefront sandwich shop…I guess it can be called a “cantina,” but they just serve breakfast and lunch (and cerveza, baby!) menus, and all the help would not know English if it kicked them in the eye. In other words–no, strike that–EXACTLY, they don’t do no gringo. They barely put up with me and my half-assed high school Spanglish; and I’m a local who lives just down the block.

They were closed. Who, in the big, fucking cares? Same around the corner; the bodega that’s been trying to play even-steven with the local deli is shuttered….

Like I give a shit? I spend ten bucks every day buying my lunch, and if you ain’t there to make my sandwich because you wanna make a “statement” or something? Well, fuck you to the moon….

You’re making a statement? You’ll never in you life get another dollar from me or my wife, and I’m telling everyone I know to give your store a blow….

Eat that Taco, Skippy.

PS: This Treo and uploading junk from the coner is too cool. I just wonder if this shit actually works.

Walking the Dog…

this morning, and it seemed all the shape-up fucks were right there, standing on the corner, same as always, waiting for the crew chief to arrive and pick up the day’s tribe. So I got a feeling this “Shut Down the City” shit, around here at least, won’t be going nowhere.

Turned down and walked around the block and spotted someone waving their arm like a jerk… took an almost full minute for me to realize it was Manny, my whack-a-doodle Puerto Rican compadre. I’ve known him since… I don’t know… I was five? We meet upin front of Steff’s Deli.

“Yo, Rojo, you’re up early!”
“I ain’t gone to bed yet, Spic. Why are you awake?”
(he leans over, pets the dog, then rabbit-punches me in the thigh)
“Don’t call me names today, Rojo. It’s protest day!”
“You were born in Brooklyn!”
“Don’t matter. Still gonna be a party.”
“How about I call a party on your ass and invite some cops?”
“Fuck you, Red. You like me too much.”
I point back up the block at the guys standing around for the roustup.
“How ’bout them?”
MANNY: “Oh, fuck them five ways. I hate mestizo cocksuckers.”
“They’re your people,” I say.
“Shit, you’re my people; them fucking shits can go piss.”

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