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Archive for "Mar 09 2006"

For the Morning’s Dose of Dumbass, You Only Need to Cross the Kill van Kull

Survey Results Brings Out an Asshole

A Kansas-based company that does “quality of life” surveys has released their latest results. Cow Hampshire earned the top honor, but the oddity was seeing Joisey earning the fifth slot.

“It’s one that surprised us,” said Scott Morgan, president of Morgan Quitno. “We looked up and saw New Jersey and it made us pause.”

Considering the same survey ranked Camden, NJ as the most dangerous city in the country, that fifth place ranking certainly is surprising.

New Jersey did well because it has the highest high school graduation rate in the nation, highest median family income and highest median household income, said James Hughes, dean of Rutgers School of Planning and Public Policy.

If he’d left it at that, the Rutgers guy would have been alright and the article would have passed from my sight; but then, in typical JerseyBoy fashion, he proceeded to show us the dumb:

“If New Jersey seceded from the union, we’d be the wealthiest country on earth,” said Hughes, a New Jersey native.

No you wouldn’t, you moron. If New Jersey seceded from the union those income numbers would be completely hosed; most of the high income earners may live in NJ, but I’ll bet my house they work in NYC. Those numbers would crumble unless they all were issued work visas, which would never happen, since NJ has one of the most corrupt, mobbed-up governments on the continent. Hell, as a country you’d qualify to be put under surveillance as a terrorist threat; the first Trade Center bombing was planned and organized out of a New Jersey mosque.

(And there is a reason The Sopranos is based in “The Garden State”; a good percentage of your citizens wouldn’t even be issued a temp visa allowing them to cross a bridge or tunnel to see a Knick, Ranger or Yankee game…we’d mount machine guns at the Staten Island toll booths to keep you yahoos out if your papers weren’t in order.)

After Corzine beats the crap out of everyone’s earnings on your side of the Hudson, when he raises everybody’s taxes in a few weeks to rein in your “country” fiscally and make up that looming $4.5 billion shortfall you’re facing, you’d qualify as a third world country and be asking the IMF for a bailout.

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