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Archive for "Feb 09 2006"

The ‘Crack Young Staff’ Deliver a Smack

It’s like poking a sleepy Rottweiller with a stick; nothing good can come from it.

We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” know that many respected journalistic outfits refuse to offer commentary regarding their more truculent and wrong-headed detractors. After all, such commentary merely highlights the original criticisms, which are usually beneath contempt.

Unfortunately for a certain pathetic dolt, however, we at “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” don’t play by those rules. As far as we’re concerned, any nincompoop who takes aim at us—no matter how sniveling, how moronic—deserves a shot back.

Taking on an Insignificant Loser

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I Love Staten Island, But…

3 teens face attempted murder rap

Three teen-agers, including the grandson of Borough President James Molinaro, have been charged with attempted murder following the stabbing of a 14-year-old during a Saturday brawl.

I really like Beep Jimmy. But after reading this article, while I’ll give his grandkid the benefit of the doubt about whether his involvement warrants an attempted murder charge (I can’t believe the kid is stupid enough to pull an icepick–Grandpa might be able to pull his ass out of a mess, but not something like that), but I have little doubt him and his buddies were there to rumble, plain and simple. Of the three different descriptions about what went down at 52 Park, the scenario offered by friends of the suspects is the least credible one featured in the article:

In another version, sources close to the suspects said Sarnelli and Novoa were driving by the school when they saw Guash taking a beating at the hands of several teens.
One source said Sarnelli and Novoa got out of the vehicle and pulled Guash out of the pile.

Now that, boys and girls, doesn’t pass the smell test. It’s too cute. Back in the day, I had friends who were in the 52 Crew, and I also helped lay foundations for a bunch of the cookie cutter houses that have been built behind the school (in a swamp!), and it’s pretty hard to believe that version for someone who’s familiar with the area and the players in this drama.

The backend of 52 Park, where the brawl went down, isn’t some place you just happen to be driving by; it’s a sleepy residential strip of road that no one who doesn’t have a particular reason would be traveling down in daytime, never mind at night. And the idea that South Beach boy Guash just happened to be there, getting wailed on by (what I assume) is the latest generation of locals who use the back end as a hangout (because the front end is too open to being spotted and rousted by cops passing by on Mason Ave.), and then his fellow South Beach boys just happened to be passing by and saw their buddy catching a beatdown and rushed to the rescue?

Nope, not buying that one, kids. Now, the other versions, where two or three carloads of South Beach boys rolled up, bats–and icepick–in hand, looking to rumble (for whatever reason) is totally believable.

UPDATE: Seems like I was right. The South Beach kids look to be in a world of shit if the story follows what the Advance Retreat is reporting (when it comes to the Fingerboard Follies, I always take their version with a shaker’s worth of salt). A lot of what’s been printed so far is confusing, as expected, but the idea of rescuing a friend in trouble seems to have been tossed into the gutter, based on what the “sources” are feeding this reporter and what the officials investigating are saying. Now it sounds like the first batch of South Beach kids started something they couldn’t handle, and young Molinaro called in backup.

As Drudgie-poo puts it: “developing….”

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