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Two Gnats on Vito’s Ass

UPDATE: Welcome Topical Island/Fingerboard Follies Idiots!
(remember: he’s from Jersey… so don’t blame him for leading you here.)

Two Democrats Set Sights on Staten Island Congressman – New York Times

Both Vincent J. Gentile, who represents Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, and Michael E. McMahon, whose district includes the North Shore of Staten Island, said they were meeting with other Democratic leaders to determine whether to run against Mr. Fossella.

Oh, please. If these two are the best they can do, Vito wins in a walk. Whoever runs against Vito has only one possible gameplan to unseat him, which will be to first brand him as an unwavering supporter of Pres. Bush’s Iraq/anti-terror policies (yeah, you just try that…Vito goes down to the St. George 9-11 memorial, points across the harbor to where the Trade Center once stood and eats you for lunch).

Any opponent will also try to attach Fossella at the hip to Tom DeLay/Abramoff/”Culture of Curruption” soap opera currently playing out in DC (like this jackassed DU dwelling wanna-be Kossak). Unless they come up with a smoking gun–a la Staten Island’s last Democrat Congressional rep, the Abscam trapped “Traveling” Jack–they got nothing that will make voters want to throw Fossella under the bus. The Democratic National Committee won’t pay the race more than lip service, while the RNC will help Fossella defend the only Republican seat in the NYC Congressional delegation.

Off the top of my head I can cobble together campaigns to kick either one of their asses.

Vinnie Gentile Fahgeddabouddit! First of all, he’s a Brooklyn boy, and while that doesn’t automatically mean this borough’s residents would shun him for someone who is a homegrown candidate (hell, sometimes it feels like SI south of the expressway is nothing but a Brooklyn annex, and last time out Frank Barbaro got 40%), there’s no way Staten Islanders will vote for this particular Brooklyn boy.

He’s damaged goods. We already played the Gentile game, sending him to the state Senate, and the midget upped and quit on us. He bailed out and went back to Brooklyn to join the loony crew known as the NY City Council because, as a member of the Albany Senate minority he had jack zip juice and, political career-wise, may have well been camped out on Mars. It’ll be impossible for him to campaign on The Rock claiming he gives a shit about Staten Island when he’s already proven he couldn’t give a damn about anything other than his paisans on the other side of the Narrows and his own political profile. Now he’s term-limited, looking for a new place to park his ass on the taxpayer’s dime, so he suddenly–again–gives a shit about us?

Yeah, Right! I beat him over the head with that storyline like an Inuit clubbing a harp seal until all that’s left is a pile of bloody flesh.

Mike McMahon Mikey–my City Council crackhead–would have a better shot than anybody the Dems could probably put up, but he’d still go down. To have a fighting chance, McMahon would need to absolutely slaughter Vito in McMahon’s home North Shore City Council district…I mean stomp Fossella flat: 75-25% or better, to offset the pounding Vito would lay on him on the southern side of the expressway. Because, though it ain’t politically correct to admit it, the vowel at the end of Vito’s last name will be worth it’s weight in gold out there.

To whup McMahon’s ass I’d take the same tactic Fossella’s opponent will take. They will try to make Bush and his policies (and all rest of the DC bullshit) the main reason to dump Vito. I’d turn it right back on McMahon and show what a totally gutless Democrat hack he’s been during his time in the City Council.

If Vito is a Republican robot, then Mikey is a Democrat Droid.

Example One: McMahon’s relationship with Giffy the Gimp. Mikey showed absolutely no balls dealing with that punk prima-donna, too fearful of incurring the Council Speaker’s wrath if he didn’t line up like a good little duck. He endorsed him in the mayoral race, when no rational person gave Giffy a snowball’s chance of even making it out of the primaries. It was unadulterated sucking up.

And then we get to McMahon’s–and the Democrat controlled City Council’s–breezy proclivity to pick taxpayers pockets. During his Council tenure, McMahon went along with Bloomie’s 18% increase in property taxes; voted to increase the tax surcharge on “absentee” landlords (“absentee” defined as anyone who owns a one, two or three family home but does not live in it…in other words, anyone involved in rental real estate as a method of investment); voted to increase the taxpayer provided matching campaign funds rate, so candidates would get six bucks for every dollar they raised on their own.

If it involved a tax increase, McMahon was on board. Hell, since 2002, the only thing McMahon bucked his party bosses on as a member of the City Council was when they tried to play foreign policy games in the leadup to the war in Iraq. And that vote will negate anything he says about Vito backing Pres. Bush’s decision to take down Saddam Hussein.

So I paint McMahon as a stereotypical “tax and spend liberal Dem,” and bludgeon him with his City Council record as proof positive that given the chance, he’d continue picking our pockets if sent to Washington and his crew regains control of the federal purse strings anytime soon.

This is just off the top of my head, without taking a hard look at how either of these potential Fossella opponents could be neutered. Given some time and a budget, I could make their own parents believe their sons are schmucks.

if you wanna know how to whomp him, you gotta ask.

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