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“Merry Christmas!” from Darth Boss George

Damon under Yankees’ tree

Okay, Caveman, your first order of business is a shave and a haircut. That hippy shit don’t cut it in the Bronx; ask your new hitting coach. Then take your spot atop an opposing manager’s nightmare:

CF-Damon (lefty)
SS-Jeter (righty)
3B-A-Hole (righty)
1B-RhoidBoy (lefty)
RF-Sheffield (righty)
LF-Matsui (lefty)
C -Posada (switch)
DH-Bernie (switch)
2B-Cano (lefty)

It’s a run scoring machine with those three at the top of the lineup. Right now I’d put money down that one of those guys between the third and sixth spot win the AL RBI title next year, with the others hot on his heels.

If Pavano and Wright can manage to NOT implode like last year, the rotation is Big Unit Asshole, Mussina, those two and Chang, and guys like Chacon and Small are playing the role of long relief/spot starters. The bullpen’s still a bit of a question mark, the biggest whether Farnsworth can handle the Yankee pressure cooker, and if (likely to be signed next couple of days) Octavio Dotel is ready to go by June.

On paper, that Yankee team is a goddamn monster that could devour anything that crosses its path if the pitchers can all stay healthy and just perform competently.

Fuck the Nation! (now you got holes in CF and short…how much of Manny’s contract will Henry be willing to eat to get Tejada from the O’s now? And will Manny even agree to go?)

Fuck Toronto! (Period. You’re Canadiens.)

The 2006 season’s betting window is now open!

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