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Erin Go Shut Your Fargin’ Piehole

Yesterday I attended the funeral Mass/burial of a very dear aunt, who came to America (which, among my various intertwined clans, was defined as “Da Bronx”) by the regular, legal channels, as did all various factions involved in the maelstrom known as “Team TC.” At the post-cemetery eat and drink I spent a part of my time seriously busting my uncle from Dublin’s balls about how lucky the Irish were, compared to the rest of the EU loony crew, considering he and his cohorts seemed to usually elect (save that kinda loopy Mary Robinson) pragmatic, not-dumb-from-the-neck-up jackasses, like those found on the Continent, and they better not fuck it up and start getting stupid, or that whole “Celtic Tiger” thing would blow up in their faces.

So, nursing the requisite hangover, wondering how many familial bridges were as of yesterday set to flame, I stumble across this shit:

Ireland’s government wants the United States to legalize Irish illegal aliens in the United States, underscoring the intense interest foreign governments are showing in the immigration debate now playing out in Congress.

Irish Foreign Minister Dermot Ahern met yesterday with Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, Massachusetts Democrat, and told reporters the Irish parliament has endorsed Mr. Kennedy’s bill to grant illegal aliens now here a multistep path to citizenship.

First, I never knew his real name was “Dermot.” I had never before heard him called anything other than “Bertie.” Dermot, for me, explains a whole lot of this*.

Next, it’s not like Ireland is a freakin’ spigot of illegals:

“Illegal Irish immigration is very small, and government estimates shows that it’s trivial — well less than a hundredth of a percent, and the estimate shows it’s falling,” said Steven A. Camarota, research director at the Center for Immigration Studies, who said it doesn’t make sense that Ireland would take a position in the debate.

Still, Mr. Kennedy yesterday said illegal alien Irish will benefit along with other illegal aliens.

“Those Irish that are here, that haven’t adjusted their status, this would permit them to initially adjust their status, pay a small down payment, indicate a work record and deal with other kind of security issues and be able to work towards both a green card and citizenship over a number of years,” Mr. Kennedy said.

Look, I got a cousin who came over here, fucked his visa, married a Yankette, and got legal. All any Micko needs to do is broadbrush the blarney and they are made. I threatened to rat him out and the family came down on me like a fucking hammer. I mayhaps at time be an idiot, but I ain’t dumb. I earned a certain level of revenge/glee when he called me up to complain about his Mac acting whacked, and when I cracked the case I found out it had been built over on the Ould Sod.

Finally, why even come withing spitting distance of the Chappaquiddick Kid? I remember from my first trips to Ireland my Gran having a cross mounted on the wall, with framed photos of Pope Paul VI and Pres. Jack bestride. But Teddy? For God’s sake, the man is a fucking caricature of “limosine liberal.” And an loutish drunken asshole to boot.

(*=total DH Copperhead/Chesick inside joke)

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