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Archive for "Nov 15 2005"

MLB Starts Getting Real on Rhoids

Baseball players, owners reach agreement on steroids

Major league players and owners agreed to toughen penalties for steroid use to a 50-game suspension for a first failed test, 100 games for a second and a lifetime ban for a third.

Back in January I said the previous scheme was a bogus half step–especially not testing for bennies, which the new plan includes, but also the consequences a player faced for testing positive. The beefier penalties are an overdue move, because the previous ones were retardedly pain-free for the player…other than the fact players would be spit upon by the fans (see RhoidBoy) if they pissed funky into a cup. With these harsher penalties it looks like Selig and the assholes in the MLB offices have decided to start kicking these cheaters as hard as they deserve in hopes of avoiding a Capitol Hill shitstorm from crashing down on their heads.

So, how many players should we expect to see showing up down in Florida or Arizona come Spring Training time with stories about their “winter conditioning sessions” and “healthier diets” to explain their newly-slimmed looks? How many Sammy Sosa-style production meltdowns will coincide with the new physiques? How many stat machines suddenly look no better than double A grade hackers at the plate or on the mound? How many cheating fuckers retire to save themselves the embarrassment?

This is Just Sad

Cindy Sheehan, the Iraq war critic whose campsite along a Crawford roadside drew opponents and supporters by the hundreds in August, will try to recapture the public’s attention and plans to break new local laws she inspired when she returns next week for Thanksgiving….

The “civil disobedience” event is just the first of a series of spectacles she’s planning as Bush spends the holiday at his ranch, including a small Iraqi meal for Thanksgiving dinner and an anti-war rally the following Sunday.

The MSM has to immediately stop enabling this poor, pathetic puppet by denying her the stage she craves. She’s now the public face for a bunch of whackos (International A.N.S.W.E.R., CODE PINK, et. al.) who would be ignored if they didn’t have this pathetic, deranged woman to prop up in front of the cameras and their banners.

Once a grief stricken mother, she’s now an oblivious to Warhol’s Law attention junkie, charging anyone interested in hearing her wild conspiracy theories serious coinage through her booking agent. This is no longer about “speaking out,” it’s about cashing in on her fringe-league celebrity. She’s showing all the signs of a desperate crack whore in need of a fix as she tries to claw her way back into the national spotlight by pulling this stunt.

Second helping of Sheehan for Thanksgiving

(h/t: Brainster)

Update (11/16): Louisiana Libertarian is Hella! more pointed and pissed at this camera grab gambit.

Back, with a Vengeance

As previously noted here, Beautifully Atrocious Jeff recently came out of his cave and returned to blogging. INDeCent Bill cracked wise about Jeff’s return from self-imposed exile, predicting it would only last “until he disappears without a trace like a deadbeat dad running out to the Circle K for a pack of Lucky Strikes at three AM again, that is …”

Dumb move, skippy. Or should I say: “Billy, the whinging candy-assed wop with lifts in his shoes bigger than Rather’s ego,” who it seems has a personal life weirder than Jeffy’s Tammy Bruce fixation.

I mean, jeez, Andrew Lloyd Webber posters? And what the fuck is “whinging,” anyway?

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