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Archive for "Apr 11 2005"

You are Pissing Me Off

Look, A-Hole, it’s an easy enough process: See the ball. Keep eye on ball until ball enters goddamn glove! This is the second time you have just flat-out blown what should have been an easy play.

You, Mr. Rodwagwayz, are getting dangerously close to being no better than RhoidBoy when it comes to what your leather is worth, and his mitt is a useless piece of shit. I don’t even wanna get into what your LOB number is doing to my boiling point.

Today’s obit boxscore.

Just Annoying as Hell

Just skimmed through my Google News Alerts and found a pointer to this precious little vignette, Island Girls, from yesterday’s NYT, featuring a Newhouse-sponsored local annoyance.

Because of these factors, singles on the island aren’t so much meeting other singles as recirculating endlessly among the same group of friends, relatives and exes. “Whenever I go out,” Ms. Shammas said as she nursed a vodka and tonic and surveyed the all-too-familiar scene at Danny Boy’s, “I always have within a two-foot radius of me at least three or four guys I’ve hooked up with.”

Not that dating men who don’t live on the island is easy, either. “I would definitely say that dating a guy in the city would make it much harder for a booty call,” Ms. Shammas said. “Not to sound trashy, but you know? You have to pay $8 on the Verrazano and $6 on any of the Jersey bridges, so you can’t get off this island for free unless you take the ferry. It’s like a long-distance relationship.”

Now, this isn’t what makes you do the slow burn. What makes you want to growl out loud is reading in the article how this chick “…puts a few dollars in the collection box so as to be in good stead with the church in case she ever wants to get married there.” And can write what she posted on her blog on April 8th.

Unless you’re hitting the confessional every Saturday, and fessing up to all your fornicatin’ and sodomizin’, you’re no Catholic by the Church’s rules, toots, and just forget that “good stead” shit if you keep doing it over and over again.The rule don’t give you no wiggle room: “No ringie, no nookie.” It’s one of the things that, during the wall to wall coverage of John Paul II’s funeral last week, drove me nuts when the talking heads were bloviating on JPII’s legacy: a whole lot of “Catholics” are insanely subjective about which rules they are willing to live by. And clueless non-Catholics were trying to tell the Church how it could improve itself by ‘getting with the times.’ The Holy Roman Catholic Apostolic Chuch doesn’t work that way, assholes. It ain’t a fucking menu where you get to choose only the dishes that don’t give your ass gas!

Ain’t nuthin’ wrong with what you’re doing–been there, banged that, stopped going to Mass and taking the Eucharist because I couldn’t countenance acting like a fraud when it came to something as serious as faith–but you’re just another run-of-the-mill, faking your religion, CINO* bar ho. And I’ll bet you give such scant serious thought to your “faith” that you’ll be wearing white on your wedding day and think it’s every bride’s right.

(*Catholic In Name Only)

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It Sometimes Feel Like Treason

He is a solidly embedded member of RSN, but I can’t help it, Bill at Call of the Green Monster is the funniest “enemy” I have ever encountered. He dishes it to his guys just as good as he does to mine.

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