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Getting Retarded on ‘Rhoids II

As I was walking the (spoiled little bastard) BootzDog this morning I saw a guy reading the paper while waiting for a bus and decided this cover was joining the collection I have adorning my home office’s walls:


Inside the paper, The Lip immediately tore into Muscles McGwire’s turn at the mic:

“I’m not here to talk about the past,” McGwire said to the Congress of the United States, as if that closed the books on everything.

What did McGwire think he was there for, to tell us how much of his own money he spent on establishing a foundation for abused children? …(snip)…

All we want to know from McGwire is this: Was he on the juice when he was hitting all those home runs for the Cardinals? He had the chance to clear the record about his home run records once and for all. He sure did not. Instead, he threw himself on the mercy of everyone watching him. The suggestion that he could not give straight answers to questions about steroids “without jeopardizing my friends, my family and myself,” sounded dumber than Jose Canseco’s dumbest day.

In a way, I feel sorry for McGwire. He hit what, 49 dingers his rookie season? And everyone already knew about him and the andro. That his ass got dragged in front of that Cirque du Congreil and King Rhoid Barry wasn’t just shows what a farce this sideshow was. When I originally said this thing was a waste of time, I predicted the way it would play out, but what I hadn’t expected was grieving, blame-pointing parents included in the “witness” mix:

“There is no doubt in our minds that steroids killed our son. … With his sports heroes as examples and Major League Baseball’s blind eye, Rob’s decision was a product of erroneous information and promises,” Denise Garibaldi said, her voice quivering. “In his mind, he did what baseball players like (Jose) Canseco has done and McGwire and (Barry) Bonds are believed to have done. Rob fiercely argued, ‘I don’t do drugs. I’m a ballplayer. This is what ballplayers do.'”

Look, I’m sorry your kid’s dead, but fuck you, lady.

Denise Garibaldi said her son was selected by the Yankees in the 1999 amateur draft, but he passed to accept a scholarship at the University of Southern California. He, too, was told he needed to get bigger if he was to have a future in the game, so he traveled to Tijuana, Mexico, to purchase steroids for his friends and himself.

You knew what he was doing was illegal, and you let him do it anyway. So get off the high horse; you had more to do with your kid freaking out and offing himself than any goddamn ballplayer. He couldn’t get the juice legally in the US, yet you let him go south of the border because he told you “that’s what ballplayers do.” And you bought that bullshit.

You wanna blame someone for his death? Look in a fucking mirror.

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