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Archive for "Feb 08 2005"

This Clown is SO Screwed

Forget that vile post-9-11 screed Churchill wrote. Being a fake Native American “scholar” is gonna cost him his job for sure.

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See? That wasn’t so tough, now was it? It only took you what? Fourteen friggin’ years! since some bum tried to burn the place down. At that kind of pace, I figure the St. George terminal will be ready in no time at–… oh, who am I kidding? If not for federal 9-11 funds, Whitehall would never had been finished, and first chance they get, they’ll “scale back” the schedule for refurbing St. George, claiming the money is urgently needed anywhere but on our side of the harbor.

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Yankee Mole Wants Back in the Fold

After being lauded by Darth Boss George for his heroic effort these past two season’s working behind enemy lines, ersatz BoSox Ramiro Mendoza, having turned his stealth Bronx Bomber duties over to Boomer “Gimme Some Beers, Damnit, I’m Pitching Today!” Wells, now wants to come home.

When informed of the situation, Yankee clubhouse boss Gene Monahan said, “Jeez, I’m not sure we got enough soap to scrub the stench off him. Remember Clemens? Years of using steel wool, and we never really got that bastard bearable for anyone to stand next to, other than Pettite, of course. Must be a Texas thing. That Fenway funk works its way into your bones, brother, believe you me! Miro’s gonna have to spend at least six months under a hose in Columbus for me to even try cleaning his ass off.”

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