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Jeff Jarvis Sucks

I’m looking at my referrals just a moment ago and I come across one from here. is one of Advance.Net’s stable of websites that Jarvis oversees. It’s the online version of our local fishwrap, The Staten Island Advance (locally derided as “The Retreat”), which was the cornerstone of the Condé Nast/Newhouse family media empire, from whom Jarvis collects a paycheck but nary manages to mention when he’s doing one of his radio or TV appearances under the guise of Blogger Boy. That pisses me off, but it doesn’t make me crazy.

But this drives me right over the edge…

Here’s the clown writing the “Topical Island” blog’s bio:

I’m an Island aficionado from across the water — Jersey, that is. Staten Island is fascinating because it’s that strange twilight zone between New York and New Jersey, where the residents enjoy both the thrill of car ownership and the right to call themselves “New Yorkers.” While many Manhattanites seem to hail from Milwaukee these days, Staten Island remains one of those places where native New Yorkers are in abundance. At the same time, it’s got a ton of Italians, a mall, a dump, and plenty of congestion — like a little lost slice of the Garden State. To some, Staten Island may be deemed the forgotten borough, but if there was an S.I. fan club, lemme tell ya, I’d be the President. Heck, on the occasional summer Thursday night, you may even catch me sipping Corsedonk down at Killmeyer’s, soaking it up.

How condescending is that crap, eh? Jarvis and his lackeys are too lazy to find anyone from Staten Island to actually write the Staten Island blog, and then this piece of work talks about us like that? If he said shit like that at Killy’s on a Thursday night, he’d get dragged out to Arthur Kill Road and never be heard from again.

There’s another one, called “Island Girl” that is either a put-on or written by a retarded transplanted Jersey bimbo, because when she introduces herself as being from SI, her point of reference is–like little prick Prochilo put in his ode to my home–“I believe you are familiar with The Dump?”

The dump has been closed–except for the post 9-11 recovery work–since 1999. No Staten Islander I’ve met in my forty four plus years has ever, ever introduced themselves as a Staten Islander by saying anything about the Fresh Kills landfill. You highlight the Ferry if you need to prod a person, because everyone’s seen the big orange boats.

Rounding out the other “Island Weblogs” (authors) are Auto News (Detroit), Beach Blog (Jersey), Bada-Bing Blog (Jersey), and then book and music review blogs scooped from

None of this happens on Jarvis’s side of the river; he’d never have the balls to pull this kind of halfassed crap. Over there, they do it right. But this is Staten Island, so him and his crew couldn’t give a shit, can’t even offer some lip service, though the Newhouse machine got its start here. And the fucking assholes who run the Retreat are so bloody clueless that they let this kind of crap go down under their banner.

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