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Archive for "Dec 08 2004"

A Man with a Plan

Just got this e-mail from a buddy of mine:

>There will be no nursing home in my future….

When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day.

That leaves $65 a day for:
1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.
2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service ( which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).
3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.
4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.
8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don’t even have to ask for them.
9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare. If you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Now hold on for the best!

Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go.
So don’t look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

P.S. And don’t forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.

How about that for a great plan for the future?

He’s just barely passed his 30th birthday and he’s already mapped out his exit strategy!

Air America Idiot Update

Yahoo! News – Air America Radio Signs New Franken Pact

I received a couple of messages from people yelping, “See? See! They aren’t quitting because they lost the election! Al just signed on for two more years, with an option for a third year.”

And I replied, “Yeah, I see, moonbat. Can you read a calendar? Al’s got an appointment he’s been talking about when the new contract runs out. He’s just biding time and padding his wallet.”

The Air Idiot Archive

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