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My Sunday Moment of Home Depot Zen

So I’m wandering around in Home Depot Sunday evening while my wife is huddled with a member of their “design” squad, determining how crazy she’s going to drive me in the course of rehauling our kitchen. I find myself staring at a box containing 500 feet of Cat 5e cord. The tag says “$38.95.” Next to it is a 1000 foot spool marked “$189.00.” One of the store drones is walking down the aisle.

“Hey, Yushenko,” I say, pointing at the 500 foot tag. “Is that for real?” He pulls his price checking doohickey from his apron and scans the bar code.
“Yep.”
“Thanks.”

Escorted to the register, out the door and safely nestled in the trunk in about four minutes goes two of my newest, bestest friends (along with three ten-packs of jacks and wall plates). The kitchen disappears from my Concern-o-meter as I begin contemplating the idea of his and hers data ports in every room in the house, especially the bathrooms (“Long live the Latrine-Hadeen!“). No more will I need to listen to people tell me about the glories of going wireless for my home setup. Banished is the notion of upgrading everything I’ve already got in place so that I can be a “WiFi Guy” in my igloo. And I can truthfully justify it as upgrading the house, increasing its value, when Wife asks “Why do you need to do this?”

God.Damn.Heaven!

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