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Dear S.F. Whack-a-Doos,

So, you clowns want to secede
from the United States, eh? Because all those
racist red state homophobic snake handling SOBs
re-elected the ChimpEmperor, Bushitler?

Well, you get this advice from me for free,
as someone who’s actually been involved in this kind of thing, although we only wanted to secede from NYC:

Don’t embarass yourselves any further.

Kill this baby in its crib.

If they call your bluff
(and Lord knows, I’d do it),
you will be fucked.
Right off the bat, you lose all the state and Federally subsidized colleges
where your moonbat ilk are bred, along with all the money
Sacramento gives you to pay off your junkies and bums.
You’d have to do it all
on your own goddamn dime.

Which means Silicon Valley
and all its sweet sweet IT dough,
will tell you to “Blow!”
and stay exactly where it is: in the USA.
Because (horrors!) they like keeping their money,
and charitable donations are as sweet as they’ll ever get.
They will not undewrite your delusions

See, what you morons don’t understand is
San Francisco doesn’t have an economy that could stand on its own two feet without all the state and federal dough that bankrolls your asses.

Really, what do you have that’s uniquely your own?
A couple of bridges and some pretty landscape.
And of course Dumbassed Freakazoids like yourselves.
There ain’t enough tourist moola in all that
to cover your patchouli bill.

You’re just California’s open air insane asylum; a cultural zoo sans bars.

Now shut the fuck up and fetch me a latte humungo and a sourdough roll.

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