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Archive for "Oct 20 2004"

You Arrogant Fucks

Couldn’t bunt on the cripple in Game Six?
Couldn’t nickle and dime Game Five?
Couldn’t play small ball in Game Four?
Fuck you.
Billy Martin pisses beercans on you.
You had your foot on their throat
and you let them get up.
You earned tonight’s blasphemy.
You’re the biggest losers in Pinstripe history.
SHIT! MLB history.
{{SCREW! PISS ON YOU! SEE TWO LINES ABOVE!}}

I’m totally screwed next time I go to Cooperstown.
I get in fights there as a usual occasion; now I gotta take the hits.
And yes, I’ll say it: A-Rod is a girl when the lights are bright.

I wish Henry & Epstein weren’t so cheap, and I still had Sori.

I hope Mount St. Steinbrenner blows your collective asses to Kingdom Come in a way that makes St. Helens weep.

Cash? Run. He’s gonna kill you three times twice for not signing Papi when he wanted it and you talked him out of it.

(I don’t believe I’m saying this)
Go kick Clemens in the balls, Boston. Or the other clowns.
Just. Kill. Them.

Because next year we’re gonna have Beltran, and every other motherfucker available. Especially starting lefties.

Darth Boss George just ain’t gonna stand for this shit.

You all thought 194 was nuts? You just watch what next year’s fiscal ledger reads.

Enjoy your year.

UPDATE(10/21 8:33am EASTERN):
Someone just e-mailed, telling me I should pull down the Darth banner.
Fuck you, pal.
This ain’t over.

How Did this Dick Not Get Fragged?

Game. Set. Quote:

Kerry’s belief in working with allies runs so deep that he has maintained that the loss of American life can be better justified if it occurs in the course of a mission with international support. In 1994, discussing the possibility of U.S. troops being killed in Bosnia, he said, “If you mean dying in the course of the United Nations effort, yes, it is worth that. If you mean dying American troops unilaterally going in with some false presumption that we can affect the outcome, the answer is unequivocally no.”

Ahh, Shit

Like my head isn’t already twisted worse than Linda Blair’s, I get this e-mail from a buddy of mine that puts this whole baseball crap in perspective:

I don’t have good news here on the lake.
Boris is doing not too bad but Boomer died on Oct. 2 from his rectum cancer. I still miss him so much. Boris is clinging to my legs since Boomer is gone and I’m so happy still to have my big boy. After Boomer was gone I bought a smaller car and – when it rains, it pours- I totaled it last week (no insurance coverage). I was worried about my spine but I’m back to walking this week. So it’s not the happiest time for us right now. However, we enjoy every day as a gift and just take everything a little easier – Boris and me. Even Mary [his cat] noticed the change and moves at night into my room, not replacing Boomer but moving in the second spot behind Boris. I hope Bootsie and your cats are fine. Regards, Alex

I knew it was coming; Alex was “Complete Asshole” but it doesn’t make it any easier.

UPDATE: Anyone praying to whatever flavor of major deity you buy into for a victory in tonight’s game is a total fucking asshole. It’s fun, yeah. It gets the juices flowing, sure. But it’s just modern day bread and circuses. Go hug your dog or your cat. Pray to your ghosts for them. If you don’t have one: what are you, weird?
(anyone thinking, “what about my kids? Shouldn’t I pray for them?” needs a bitch slap with a two-by-four Cluebat, and then beat down until those kids are orphans.)
Sorry. I really don’t give a shit about the game no more. I gotta arrange to go upstate this weekend and stand next to my friend.
(Fuck the goddamn baseball shit.)

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