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Archive for "Jul 25 2004"

Attention, Red Sox Nation

Before you all get giddy about yesterday’s game, thinking of your boys, “Finally, they show signs of life,” and that this might be the spark that lights a fire under their asses, think about this:

The Yankees are still nine games ahead in the loss column, and now you’ve pissed them off. After yesterday’s game, Darth Boss George is now ready to sell his son’s soul (his own soul is long gone) to Colangelo to acquire Randy Johnson. He’s not gonna wait for Brown and Moose to come off the DL and hope they pitch true to form. The players are seething, and even if you win today’s game, they are probably going to pound the shit out of teams for a couple of weeks venting that anger, and burying you in the division standings, which means your boys are going to have to not lose, period, just to keep in the wild card hunt.

We’ll see you in September. If some poor sap gets caught wearing Varitek’s number he may just get his ass capped. Why? Well, let’s go to the photo everybody seems to be running:


Punkass doesn’t drop his glove or lose his mask. And his right hand isn’t a clenched fist; it’s fingernails extended, scratching like a girl.
And Kepler, Trot and Ortiz ganging up on Sturtze, with Ortiz trying to kick the kid while the other two held him on the ground, and Sturtze coming out of it with a long scratch down his left cheek, another cat scratch attack.
Anybody wearing Red Sox colors in the Bronx between the 17th and 19th is a beatdown waiting to happen.

There’s a reason Jackie Chan didn’t call that flick “Rumble in the Hub.”

Just Nuke the Joint

A lot of people ask me why I don’t get more involved in local politics, since I’m an obvious junkie for the stuff. It’s mostly because NY politics, on nearly every level, is a fixed game, so what’s the point of sitting at the table? In NYC, as long as we keep putting a Republican (even a RINO like Nurse Bloomberg) in the mayor’s chair we won’t get absolutely steamrolled by the Democratic-owned City Council. Out of a total of 51 members, only 3-count ’em-are Republicans, and two of those are from here on Staten Island, “the forgotten borough,” which the rest of the city used as its trash can until Rudy and Pataki put a stop to it when the Island was in an uproar and threatening to secede. And I’d shoot both their asses if given half a chance.

It’s worse when you go up to Albany, which today drew the wrath of the NY Daily News editorial page, branding it The worst legislature in America. Between the Assembly and the Senate, there are 212 members of the New York state legislature. But only two count: The Assembly Speaker, Democrat Shelly “The Scumbag” Silver, and the Senate Majority Leader, Republican Joe “Numbnuts” Bruno. They wield such total control over what happens that:

… lawmakers need not even be present to vote. Once they sign in for the day, they’re counted as voting yes on every measure taken up by their houses unless they object. Whether they stay in Albany or fly to Timbuktu, they’re recorded as supporting everything the speaker or majority leader puts forward that day.

And it’s never gonna change, because the rank and file legislators are terrified of bucking these two mooks.

(On a lighter note, the Daily News’ second editorial makes me think whoever wrote it is either channeling or ripping off Michele from ASV.)

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