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Gimme Whatever He’s Having

Crazy Curt:

“We were tenacious. We played with intensity,” Shilling said. “If we play like we played tonight, every night for the rest of the season, we’re going to go to the World Series.”

You LOST, dumbass. The cameras showed you sitting in the dugout while your teammates scurried off to the clubhouse after the final out. You looked like somebody had shot your dog.

You blew a 4-1 lead, wasted a three HR performance from Millar, and your fielders make the madness that is Matsui/Lofton look like a damn ballet!

If you play like that the rest of the season, all you’ll do is duke it out with the Orioles for fourth and make RedSox Nation’s suicide stats skyrocket. Nation? Two words: Patriots’ PreSeason. You’re only a week or so away.

And Shill? After that sixth inning, the Yankees officially own your ass.


MORNING UPDATE: Screw him, we got the Salsa Twins. El Duque is rocking. If Contreros doesn’t pull a meltdown on Sunday, once Brown and Moose get healthy, we don’t need no stinking Big Unit.

DEAR NY TIMES ASSHAT: This morning, your employer published this, which you filed last night:

They could have posed together for the cover of the Boston Red Sox’ yearbook, arms around each other, smiling and vowing to slay the Yankees, once and for all. Curt Schilling, Keith Foulke and Alex Rodriguez were supposed to be the centerpieces of the Red Sox’ off-season makeover, but Rodriguez wound up with the bad guys.(emphasis mine)

I know your bosses own a piece of the Red Sox, but the masthead says “New York,” numbnuts, and since I didn’t read it on a page I will not make you eat your words first chance I get (and I know which watering holes you BlairKids inhabit), but shoving a cathode ray tube around your ears is definitely an option.

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