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Archive for "Apr 23 2004"

Section 39, It’s Time…

…to remind everybody just what being a Bleacher Creature is all about. You Know Who is coming into Our House. You heard the way the Feckless Fenway Faithful worked over A-Rod last week. THAT’S OUR JOB!

It’s time to give our hometown team a wake-up call. A long, loud, lewd call to arms. You guys need to bring the noise pain. We need to infuse The Zoo into this crew. Michelle’s gone as far as agreeing to wear the dreaded “B” on her noggin as payment for Beantown bucks to help build an Anti-Al JaJerkoff TV statio in Iraq. I’ve endured Metsies–Metsies, God Damn It!–giving me crap because of the way This Year’s Model has been sleepwalking. So this weekend I expect you guys to go over the top; I’m talking summonses, people! I’m talking scaring the shit out of the freaking eagle, never mind the Caveman and Kapler (or Crespo, or whoever the hell they put in right field).

I’m talking crazy enough that the team and the Sleeping Psycho up in the owner’s box get the message: This Shit Stops, NOW!

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Loons Spotted Nesting in Central Park

Things like this are one of the reasons New York City stands tall over every other place on the planet when it comes to sheer whackitude. Two raving nutbags climbed a tree after falling out of their own. The Post’s very weak take on the escapade is here.

“We thought it was an ecological statement for Earth Day, but it’s just transvestites,” said Brian Mallard, 26, of Long Island City.”

Thank the editorial gods, the increasingly ass-kicking Daily News, “They don’t call us New York’s Picture Newspaper for nothing,” includes a photo of the freaks.

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